“Fighter. Believer. Winner.” This is my personal story.
BUT “What story do you tell yourself about yourself?”
This is a question I raised before a group of “connected women” in celebration of Women’s Month, where I talked about regret – the disappointments, sadness, and other negative emotions for something that happened in the past, yet still lingers inside.
From their own stories, I heard several relationship regrets – be it with themselves, with their family and loved ones, or with their friends.
“I wish I hadn’t spent the 33 years of my life in the corporate world.”
“I wish I had listened to my parents and followed their advice.”
“I wish I had the courage to tell my parents what I wanted to pursue in college.”
“I wish I had people around to guide me to make the right decisions.”
“I wish I had the courage to be more honest about my feelings.”
There were tinges of pain in their narratives as they began to relive the moment and “untangle” the mixed emotions in their memories. Yet, there’s a bittersweet relief at the end, even a sigh of letting go.
That “if only” moment, when recognized, accepted, verbalized, and shared, becomes a “common humanity”. Sharing personal stories is liberating, emancipating, and empowering.
What lessons have I learned from these empowered women about regrets?
- Regret has the power to transform us and make us bolder, stronger, and wiser.
- Regret teaches us to be self-forgiving, gentler, and kinder with ourselves.
- Regret encourages us to be more trusting of our future decisions and actions.
- Regret allows us to build a better relationship with ourselves, with our partners, our children, family, and friends.
- Regret is an expression of our desire for belonging, connection, and love.
Sharing our regrets with others is not only an act of courage, but a way to becoming more authentic and resilient. Our stories matter – because all of us matter. Our understanding of ourselves is the foundation of our being – and regret is part of it.
Maybe, it’s time to tell our stories more often and see our lives from a different perspective! And that makes us all connected!
Regret is there forever but you can make a truce with it. Then, forgive yourself. Accept who you are. And learn to move forward!
“Connected women” as a group is about acceptance, connection, and empowerment!
